Human Rights in China

I normally stay away from talking about human rights in China but this story has too many gems to pass up.

According to Xinhua, the Chinese government has released its first ever Human Rights Action Plan. A senior Chinese official, Wang Chen, praised this achievement yesterday in a speech that began, "The human rights conditions are at the best in the history of China." Obviously, these conditions are so good that the government had to issue a 50-page report on how to make them better. Wang said 'practicability and feasibility constituted the most distinctive features of the action plan.' Note for non-Chinese speakers: In Chinese, the word "feasible" refers to things that can be done without pissing too many important people off.

Here are some of the higlights of the report:

One of the most truthful statements I've ever seen in a CPC-issued report: "China has a long road ahead in its efforts to improve its human rights situation." Of course, this is just giving them an excuse to zheteng.

"Through varied and vivid activities after class, students will receive education in human rights from first-hand experiences." Here is a potential first-hand experience: "Hello students. This afternoon, we're going to play the Abu Ghraib game instead playing badminton. Take off all your clothes and make a human pyramid right now!"
Free Cold Stone for the one who posts best idea for a first-hand human rights learning experience.

"China will take an active part in international cooperation in an effort to create an environment favorable for human existence and sustainable development and build a resource-conserving and environment-friendly society to guarantee the public's environmental rights." According to the Beijing government, the Air Pollution Index yesterday was 75, or unhealthy. According to an unofficial report that includes smaller, less visible particles that actually cause respiratory maladies, it was 139, or unsafe for sensitive groups. LA occasionally posts an API over 50. Good luck on this one Human Rights Action Plan Team.

"Respecting [last year's Sichuan] earthquake victims. Registering the names of people who died or disappeared in the earthquake and made [sic] them known to the public." So far two people have been scouring the disaster zone compiling names of the dead. One of them, Tan Zuoren, is in jail for "subverting state security" and the other, Ai Weiwei, has had his blog blatantly censored. Ai is still free because he's one of the most famous artists in the country, and his arrest would attract too much attention.

If you're really bored and in for a laugh at the party's expense, flip through the report, there are many more classic lines throughout the whole thing.

Note: The quotations are from an official translation. My English is not that bad.